EZRON

19/03/2020

EZRON & ZACK

created by Eraxel DISCLAIMER/ADVERTISEMENT: Don't read if you feel offended by a damaged

spaceship, a giant alien woman, a hero without a clue, a never-efficient

goddess, some lousy jokes, and by all means:

Don't read this if you hate Star Wars!

PROLOGUE: Marooned

------------------

"Blast that stupid hyperdrive!", Ezron cursed. There she was, at the edge of

nowhere. And the long range comm system was also out, so she could not even call

for help. Without the hyperdrive, it was going to be a long way home, at least

two years to the next public repair station.

Maintaining a standard hyperdrive is actually quite easy, and most pilots can do

basic repairs by themselves. The problem was that this one was self- made.

Now usually, that's quite good, because if you assemble something by yourself,

you've got to know it best, right?

Right. Unfortunately, Ezron wasn't the one who had build it, at least not yet.

But that's another story.

Well, she had at least to try. Equipped with a transmogrifier and an energy

reading unit, she went to the engine room.

***

When she was sure of having done everything possible, she returned to the

cockpit and, with a prayer, hit the jump button.

She smiled broadly when she saw the familiar streaking of stars and the bright

flash, the typical signs of entering hyperspace.

Her smile froze when instead of flying through a long blue tunnel, she was

facing stars again.

Different stars.

And a planet, dead ahead.

"What the...!" A quick glance at the screens convinced Ezron that she had made a

misjump, sending her even more into the outer rims.

This just wasn't fair.

Sighing, she scanned the planet she was facing. Supported life. Hmm. So maybe

she could fix the comm antenna from the outside if she landed there.

***

When Zack was driving home, he was still quite drunk. He didn't even know where

was returning home from, and he didn't care either, because he had to

concentrate on not getting off the road too far.

Zack's brain capacity was eventually maxed out when he saw the spaceship.

It was vast, the size of a football field. Its shape reminded him of that nice

ship from StarWars. What was it called again? Eagle of the Century? Millenium

Hawk? Damn, he was way too drunk.

Although it was the first time he had seen a real spaceship, he immediately

realized that there was something wrong with it. Maybe because he spotted the

giant beauty walking around on the top hull, with some tool in her hand.

He had always been a gentleman, so why not offer his assistance in the repairs?

He pulled to the side, got out of the car, and walked towards the ship.

Did I mention that he was really drunk?

***

Ezron was pissed. Try as she might, she just couldn't reach fully into the

wiring of the comm system with her hand. The access opening was just too narrow.

Looked like she would have to open it completely.

"Exxxcews mae, yang lada, need sum helpp therr?"

"No thanks, I'm just fine."

"Aww, cum ooon, I shtopped by dshust four yew!"

"Go away."

"How rude. Is that the wwway you talkk to sumvun who only wants to helpp?"

For the first time, Ezron turned to where the voice came from. Oh my, the

natives here were really small. This three inch high drunk primitive there

seriously offered his help. How cute. Then an idea struck her.

"You really want to help me? Fine. Get up here."

He tried. Imagine a cat on valerian, trying to climb the Eiffel Tower.

Sighing, Ezron jumped down and picked him up, then back on the top she placed

him before the the comm antenna.

"See this opening here? Good. Among the wires there, two of them are

disconnected. Could you please find them and put them together again?"

"Everrrrythin y say, ma'm..." he managed to blurt out, before falling through

the opening.

***

One annoying thing about hangovers is that they can give you a hard time when

you are trying to get your bearings. In Zack's case, it wasn't his only problem.

It was dark where he was lying, and warm, and soft. And moving slightly.

That last part scared him a bit, so he tried to get up.

Bad mistake. The intense pain of eight anvils falling on his head from every

direction made him fall back with a loud groan.

This caused a continuos noise which he hadn't noticed before to change its

regularity. And with some horror, he realized that it was the breathing sound of

someone. Or something.

He didn't have much time to be afraid, because some seconds later, light poured

at him from the ceiling. So he was in a room, after all.

Very slowly, as not to get too much bad news at once, he lifted his head a bit,

despite of the pain, and let his gaze wander from the ceiling down towards his

feet. In that direction, he could see the lower half of a human body. Long,

shapely legs, definitely female.

At this point, he would have liked to say: "No thanks, I don't want any of this,

bye", but he just couldn't. He had to get up and turn around, and maybe just to

convince himself that he had better not.

So these soft walls here on each side of him had to be the breasts of the body

under him, hmm. Lifting his head a bit more, he finally managed to look into the

eyes of his sleeping place.

"Took you some time to face me, hmm?" she said with an amused smile. "Don't

worry, time is what we've got most of."

Sometimes, Zack managed to just think on without getting crazy. So he had

accepted the outrageous premise of standing between a space girl's breasts

aboard her ship (some of his faint memories of yesterday night had come back

reluctantly), and was able to concentrate on other things.

For example on the fact that she was quite pretty.

High cheekbones, introducing intelligent, deep green eyes. The whole thing

framed by flowing dark hair, with some red in it. The rest of her slightly

tanned body, from her ample breast, over her slim, athletic frame to her

aforementioned legs, was just right to his taste.

"I'm glad you like your surroundings. You'll get to know them in detail, I

promise. Right know, maybe you have some questions?"

"You bet", Zack said. "First - where are we going?"

"Mordino's Spacebar."

"Sounds good to me, I could use a drink. When we'll be there?"

"In about four years."

"Oh."

"You know, if you hadn't short-circuited and molten down the Hyper-Comm by

puking into it, we would be there in no time. But now, things have gotten more

complicated. This sector is pretty much uncharted, and i don't know if we find

advanced civilizations who can help us, for free, that is, because I'm broke. So

maybe it's going to be a long trip", Ezron explained.

"I see. And why are you taking ME along, if I may ask?"

"Are you kidding? It's your fault, after all, and I can't see why I should be

the only one having to bear the consequences. And besides, maybe it won't get

that boring with you around."

"Makes sense," Zack said. "Well, when are we having breakfast?"

"In time", she told him, rising her eyebrow. "But first", and she softly touched

his chin with her huge index finger, "How about a little appetizer?"

PROLOGUE #2: Power-Up

---------------------

"You better let your Queen escape there."

Nervously, Ezron looked at her Queen. Nothing was threatening her, as far as she

could see. "Nice try", she finally said, and moved her Bishop out into the

field.

After two months since their departure from Earth, things were really getting

dull. Of course, they were having good times, but incredible as it may sound,

even the most exotic sex gets a bit boring if you do it all the time. So Zack

tried to liven up things by introducing some games from home, with not too much

of a success.

Slowly, Zack typed his next move into the oversized console. His Knight then

took her Queen.

"Wait a minute! What kind of move is that supposed to be, jumping all around?"

"Knights are allowed to do that," Zack said.

"They surely have some strange games on your planet. Strange, and boring."

Zack did not reply. He just stared behind Ezron.

"Zack?"

"Umm, Ezron, would you please look out of the window?"

She turned around, but couldn't see anything. "What?" she asked.

"You don't happen to know any kind of people able to float in open space and

look into windows of ships coming by, do you?"

Her face assumed a stern look instantly.

"Come to think of it, I do. But I would prefer not too. What did you see?"

"A woman, looking at me and giggling." he said, hesitating.

"Blonde? Emitting a strange aura of blue light?" she inquired.

"Yep, that's her. Why's she here?"

"That's what I ask myself everytime..." she sighed.

At this moment, aforementioned woman materialized together with a chair near the

virtual chessboard.

"Hi, my dear", she said, beaming to Ezron, who groaned at the sight of her.

***

"Girl, you really messed it up this time, didn't you? Failing to repair the very

hyperdrive you are yet to make is one thing, but letting your long range comms

being taken out by a drunk little native...tsk, tsk..."

Ezron didn't say anything. She planned to just let it wash over her this time.

Maybe this obnoxious demi-superbeing calling itself her friend (it not even had

a name, hah!) would get bored soon and disappear.

Zack didn't say anything because he did not know this other woman, and he felt

that he had little to say anyway.

"Who is that cute thing, anyway? Your new partner?"

"Yeah, right." Ezron muttered, more to herself than to anyone else.

"Hmm, I think he's not very useful right now. Kind of...immobile..."

Suddenly aware, Ezron looked at her. "What are you up to", she asked coldly.

"I think he should at least be able to fly, like most decent people are."

At this moment, Zack felt some kind of a new muscle inside himself. Flexing it,

he levitated a few inches. Grinning like crazy, he flew a few rounds before

coming to a stop, hovering right before Ezrons face.

"You better don't go on buzzing around me like that, or I'll swat you." she

said, with a serious face. Zack just smiled.

"Oh no, we can't let that happen, can we" the goddess said. "I just made him a

bit stronger, at least enough that he can armwrestle with you, with a fair

chance of winning..."

"How about doing something useful for a change?" Ezron snapped. "How about

sending me home?"

"Oh sorry, my dear, can't do that! Prime directive - Never take out the fun of

mortal's misadventures! And besides, coming home won't be your primary objective

in the next time, I can promise!" and laughing, she disappeared.

"Things are just getting better and better", Ezron said. Just a reminder...

Don`t read if you don`t like space, giantesses, flying little men, hidden

enemies or a lot of Star Wars quotations being totally out of place.

EPISODE 1: THE DARK THREAT

--------------------------

Turmoil had engulfed the ship. Not only because it was being fired at, but also

because Ezron and Zack had quite an argument while fleeing the local militia

fighters.

"This is all your fault, Captain!" Zack said, standing on the console and trying

to reinforce the shields.

"Why me?" Ezron shouted back, clamping her hands on the flight stick and

performing one incredible evasive maneuver after another. "YOU said that they

would eat this 'Advanced Race/Resistance is futile` crap! I knew it was not

going to work!"

"Why didn`t you say so before?"

"I did say so before! But who am I to question the advice of Mr. Zack Shrimp,

experienced space traveller by watching silly earth sci-fi shows!"

A shudder went through the ship. Zack was knocked off the console, but quickly

caught himself in midair, and flew back to examine the changes on the screens.

"Perhaps we should continue with this discussion later. We just lost the main

rear deflector shield. One more direct hit on the back quarter and we're done

for."

Ezron sighed. "Okay, hit the hyperspace button then, quick!"

"You didn`t fix it properly yet. Are you sure this thing is safe?"

"It`s our only chance, isn`t it? If we stay here, these jerks will first shoot

us to little pieces, then blast us into oblivion."

"I see your point. Activating hyperdrive."

Some star streaking later, they found themselves elsewhere. ***

Meanwhile, on a private holiday planet...

"Umm...your highness...-"

"What!"

"Er...an unidentified ship just violated our space..."

"Destroy it like the others."

"But, your highness...it could be the ones the Prophet spoke of!"

Empress Adamila suddenly turned to her minion.

"Could be." she said, after a while. "Well, then, I want you to 'escort' them to

the palace. See to it that they are being treated like honor guests. Oh, and

ready my shuttle. I want to welcome them personally."

"At once, your highness." ***

"Now, where are we?" Zack asked impatiently.

Ezron finally finished her calculations. "Still five years away from home."

"What? How..."

"This darn hyperdrive keeps on sending us anywhere we don`t want to go. This

time, we are on the other side of the galaxy. Unknown space as well."

"But surely not uninhabited. Three armed starfighter size ships approaching on

intercept course." Zack told her.

"Will you please stop to sound like a droid copilot? I vaporized the last one I

had."

"I thought they talk that way in space", Zack said helplessly.

"Again one of your odd sci-fi shows, eh?" Ezron asked with a suspicious look

down to him, rising an eyebrow.

"Never mind. Anyway, we are being hailed."

"On screen." Ezron commanded.

Zack wanted to say something, but then he gave up. Sighing, he pushed a few

buttons.

On the small communication window a humanoid-looking security officer appeared.

He was making a friendly face, very uncommon for security guards.

"Greetings, and welcome to the Empire of Queen Adamila. This is Commander Kanapa

speaking. You are hereby invited to the palace for a personal audience with her

highness. Regard yourself as our guest. We will be glad to escort you to your

destination. Is your craft still functional?"

Hesitating, Ezron answered.

"This is Captain Ezron of the private transport `Shriek`. Thanks for your

hospitality, all systems are operational, except the hyperdrive and long range

communications."

"Our engineers will be glad to look at it. Right now, please follow our lead.

Kanapa out."

Ezron looked at Zack. "Sound`s not too bad, doesn`t it?" she said.

He floated thoughtful before her face. "I don`t know....I have a bad feeling

about this..."

"Yeah, those are far too friendly to foreigners violating their space..."

"It`s not only that...it`s something else, far away, elusive..."

"Did that bitch give you clairvoyance, too? I don`t think so."

"Yet she said we should be mindful about the future...aw, maybe I`m just too

nervous. By the way, `The Shriek`, what kind of name is that?" he asked with a

grin.

"It`s a gift from an old friend."

"You`ve got weird friends..."

"Says you."

***

The Cucantros space port was quite busy, and not much people cared for the alien

spacecraft landing. After some moments, a woman came out, being re- cieved by a

small escort of the royal guard.

From high above, through a window, chancellor Nure watched the procedure.

Strange, he thought. Weren`t it supposed to be two beings, according to the

Prophet?

"Chancellor?" Commander Kanapa just had entered.

"Yes, what is it?"

"The guest is beeing sent to the audience chamber, but our Queen has not yet

arrived. Do you want to attend?"

"Are you braindead? I`m definitely not going into there with a stranger. She

could have germs or anything. Send a droid."

"As you wish."

***

After Ezron had been guided into the chamber, she was being left on her own.

After looking around for security cameras, she opened the top zipper of her suit

a bit. Looking into her cleavage, she smiled.

"Stay sharp. You are the ace card in case anything goes wrong."

Zack just nodded back. Then she closed her top again.

Not much later, the door opened, and a tall, pale-skinned, yet darkness

emmitting woman, accompanied by two bodyguards, entered. She was clothed just

with a black coverall and a fitting black cape. Together with her long,

dark/blue/white hair, she looked like a space gothic, Zack thought, being able

to see her partially through the fabric of Ezron`s suit.

"Welcome, stranger", the dark lady began to speak. "I am Adamila, the local

Empress here. I hope you don`t mind me asking to let your little partner show

himself to me. It`s rude not to greet his host, anyway. And don`t ask me how I

know of him, I have some very reliable sources."

With a nervous grin, Ezron opened her top again, and put Zack on the table. He

looked around a bit frightened. Adamila just rolled her eyes.

"Oh please!" she said, looking at him with disgust. "You can stop to act out

this poor performance. I also know about your potential." She sighed.

"Maybe we can talk serious now, okay?" ***

The audience was short and eventless. The Empress confirmed that the ship was

being repaired, and that they could stay as long as they wanted. The alarming

news came to them one day before their departure.

Zack had been hiding in one of the handmaidens` quarters. "To gather

information", he had told Ezron, who just had smiled scornfully.

He didn`t have to wait long until two of the handmaidens entered, wearing

nothing but towels around their bodies. They were obviously coming from the

showers.

"I can`t wait till next month", the first one said, unwrapping the towel.

"Why? What`s going to happen then?" asked the second while rummaging through her

dresses.

"Don`t you know? We`re soon going to get a lot of new toys..."

The second handmaiden stopped, and turned around.

"You mean, the rumors are true? She is going to seize the home planet of this

little guy?"

"Why, of course! We will enslave all of them..."

"Wait a minute! This little man is small, but not weak. He can even fly! How are

we going to control these?"

"You are only half-informed. This one is special. All the others on his planet

are little wimps, unable to resist."

"Oh..." the other woman beamed. "In that case....do we get a special discount,

being the royal handmaidens and all?"

"Discount? We`ll get as many as we want, for free! There`s plenty of them!"

"Wonderful...! By the way, how did Queen Adamila get her fingers on the

coordinates of this slave planet to be?"

"By letting her engineers scan the logs, silly! Now, get dressed. We don`t want

to keep her waiting..."

Zack had heard enough. He escaped through the air vent.

***

"Ezron! We have to get to the ship immediately!"

"Whhaa..!?" Ezron yawned, just getting up.

"Freeze!" the guards who just had come in shouted.

Ezron and Zack quickly dispatched them, and ran out into the hallway.

"There they are! Stop them!"

[ INSERT FIERY GROUND BATTLE HERE ]

The Shriek was taking off. Security fighters were close behind it.

[ INSERT FIERY SPACE BATTLE HERE ]

After having shaked off the last of them, Ezron sent some thanks and apologies

for their early departure to the empress. Soon, they were flying out of the

system.

Aboard the ship, Ezron let the computer calculate the jump.

"So what do you think we are going to do once we have reached earth?" she asked,

adressing a deeply concerned Zack.

"I don`t know...we have to warn them somehow. Maybe they can find a way to

escape, or even fight back..."

"The odds are not good, you know." she stated the obvious.

"Never tell me my odds." He looked down, clenching his fists.

***

In one of the many chambers of the palace, the Queen stood before the hologram

of a sinister figure. He was wearing a dark robe, and his face was veiled by a

hood.

"The strangers have escaped, Prophet." the Queen said.

"Good. Have you leaked enough information for them?"

"Yes, but are you sure they will fly straight to earth? Their jump logs were

erased by that broken hyperdrive. I'm taking an awful risk. This had better

work."

"Do not worry. Everything is going exactly as I have foreseen it. If your homing

beacon is installed properly, you will soon have a whole new population branch,

Queen Adamila."

***

The screens indicated that the calculations where complete.

"Entering hyperspace", Ezron said, pressing the jump button.

***

And in the repair bay, two repair workers were chatting during their lunch

break.

"By the way, did you exchange the hyperdrive of that guest ship?"

"What for? I fixed it. A fine piece of machinery, `twould be a pity to throw it

away! Besides, hyperdrives are expensive. No need to waste them on strangers."

"But Kanapa said...-"

"Blast Kanapa. A new, standard hyperdrive, or a repaired, self-made one, where`s

the difference?"

***

The Shriek accelerated to an incredible speed, then disappeared into hyperspace.

[ INSERT END CREDITS ]

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